Festival tales from across the seas
This week I finally started my Christmas shopping. Yes, I know, there are only two weeks to go to Christmas and, yes, I should have started much earlier. In my defence, Christmas has come round the corner rather suddenly this year. In the UK, shop decorations begin to go up in October and, slowly but surely, more and more Christmas songs appear on the radio so that by the time December comes you are well aware of exactly how many (or few) days you have left for Christmas shopping. In India there is no such gentle introduction to Christmas. In fact, returning home to Scotland for last year’s celebrations was something of a shock to the system as, instead of a gradual immersion process, I emerged from the plane into full-blown Christmas.
Anyway, I reckon I still have enough time to tick all the items off my Christmas list before returning home, especially with a little help from my husband. Last year was his first experience of Christmas with my family and so I think he knows what to expect this time. Last December, he was shocked to discover how much money I was spending on Christmas presents, and how many people I was buying Christmas presents for, let alone all the cards and wrapping paper that go with them. I had to explain to him that, in the UK, Christmas is our only true festival. Ok, we have Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day and Halloween amongst others but these have become ‘optional’ festivals; you can celebrate them if you like but nobody is going to be shocked if you don’t go to Church on Easter Sunday or realise too late that Halloween was last week. (Having said that, men would be well advised to remember Valentine’s Day if they want to hold on to their girlfriends!)
So, Valentine’s Day aside, Christmas is our one big festival and the one festival that is never missed out, even by those people who profess to hate it. For British people it is Diwali, Ganapati, Janmashtami, Dussehra, Holi and Rakhi, all rolled into one. The only other occasion which comes close is New Year (which, in Scotland, used to be even bigger than Christmas). Hence the expense, hype, long drawn out planning process etc.
During my first year in India, I found it hard to get my head around the fact that not every festival was celebrated with the same fervour as Christmas. It took me a while to realise that although all these festivals are celebrated, some are more important than others depending on which community or region you belong to (e.g. Ganapati is an important festival in Maharashtra). When Diwali came round, I badgered my husband with questions like “who do I need to buy presents for?” I was bewildered by the response: “No one”. For some reason, I had expected Diwali customs to be similar to those I followed for Christmas and it had never occurred to me that presents would not be involved, or at least not to any great extent. I did, however, enjoy celebrating the third day of Diwali, “Padwa”, on which husbands are required to give presents to their wives. And what do we have to do in return? Simple: give them a massage which scented oil. Sounds like a bargain to me!
Another difference between British and Indian culture which I’ve had to adjust to is our attitude towards birthdays. In Britain, the person whose birthday it is (a.k.a. the ‘birthday boy’ or ‘birthday girl’) fully expects to be spoilt rotten. They receive a birthday cake, presents and cards from family and friends and are usually taken out for a celebratory dinner, which they do not pay for (a common sight at the end of the birthday dinner is for the birthday boy or girl to attempt to contribute some money, only to be told by everyone else to put their wallet away because “you can’t possibly pay; it’s your birthday”). Having grown up in this culture, you can imagine my astonishment when, in the run-up to my birthday last year, someone asked me what “treat” I would be giving them. “Me giving you a treat?” I thought, “Surely it’s the other way round?” Sure enough, I was mistaken and, on my birthday, I took my friends out for a meal. Another slight difference in custom is the birthday cake – in my culture the birthday boy scoffs the lot himself whereas in India he is obliged to give a bite to others (usually his partner, parents or close friends).
As for weddings, in British culture the bride and groom usually expect gifts. Sometimes they even send out a ‘wedding list’ to ensure they do not receive the same gift twice! In Indian culture, on the contrary, wedding invites usually carry the message “no gifts or bouquets” although some guests choose to ignore this! This then prompts the bride and groom to send out ‘return gifts’. I had never heard of this concept in the context of weddings before, although, at Christmas time, I am careful to avoid the dreaded ‘faux pas’ of receiving a gift from someone whom I have nothing to give in return!
All in all, I have discovered that in both culture there are a lot of differences but also a lot of similarities in our customs involving gifts. I like different aspects of both cultures. For example, I like the Indian approach to birthdays. It seems to me to make sense – why should the birthday boy be given preferential treatment, especially when they haven’t exactly ‘done’ anything which requires celebrating, aside from existing. If anything, it is their mother who should be felicitated; not them! I also like the Indian tradition of giving out sweets to celebrate an achievement (such as buying a new car). On the other hand, I have to admit that I love Christmas and everything that comes with it; Christmas shopping included. And then, once Christmas is over, it’s not long to Makar Sankranti … Looks like I have the best of both worlds!
More articles by Anna Pande
- From Anna Banana to Andy Pand(e)y! - April 8th, 2009
- A day for pandemonium - April 1st, 2009
- Restaurant review: Prems - March 27th, 2009
- Don’t kiss kisses goodbye - March 25th, 2009
- Restaurant review: Malaka Spice - March 20th, 2009
I can't wait til Christmas! I can't believe you give presents to others on your birthday, not fair! (Unless it's your twin!). Christmas is huge, and the build up is even bigger- advent calendars, candles, decorations, carol singing, concerts, Christmas craft sales, the BBC Christmas programme, mightnight mass… I love it all!